Expat Life: Andrew Guck’s 14 Years in France

After 14 years living in France, American Andrew Guck shares his thoughts on how he has successfully integrated into his adopted country…

In December 2010, inspired by a childhood friend who had graduated from the American University in Paris, I embarked on a challenge to learn French – a decision that would utterly transform my life. Six months into my language journey, I took my first trip abroad to the south of France. It was there I met Alexandra in person for the first time after we had connected through an online language exchange programme, where she was enhancing her English and I was deepening my French. Our initial meeting was filled with anticipation and excitement. Before this adventure, I was entrenched in the typical rat race, my experiences limited, and my world view shaped largely by media portrayals of other countries. During three magical weeks together, Alexandra introduced me to French culture, traditions and etiquette a glimpse into what would soon become my new life. After a heartfelt goodbye, I returned to upstate New York where I was attending my last semester at a university. Over the next nine months, Alexandra and I maintained our connection through frequent communication, culminating in our marriage after I proposed to her when she came to visit me in New York. Following this, I navigated the complex process of obtaining a long-stay visa, sold all my possessions, quit my job, and relocated to France to be with her. Now, 14 years later, I am living happily in France with French nationality, enriched by a new culture, language, and a profound understanding of what it means to be a global citizen all stemming from that pivotal decision to learn a new language.

Initially tempted by the convenience of language- learning apps, I soon realised they often taught vocabulary that wasn’t relevant to everyday life or practical for a beginner in French. Moreover, these apps gave me a false sense of proficiency, leading me to believe I was more advanced than I truly was in real-life situations. This realisation prompted me to seek out more effective learning methods.

After deciding to make France my permanent home, I committed to mastering the language and fully immersing myself in the culture. Each day, I took a scenic bus ride to my language immersion classes, engaging in conversations with the bus driver and fellow passengers. The class was a melting pot of nationalities, including Moroccan, Algerian, Japanese, and Cuban participants. I was the only native English speaker, which enriched the experience and helped me not only to improve my French, but also to appreciate diverse cultural perspectives. The classes were intense six hours a day- however, my French improved hugely after just a few months.

I also joined a French painting class with a local association, deepening my appreciation for the arts. We studied famous painters, visited museums such as the Musée d’Orsay, and spent entire days painting the French landscape, while enjoying the local wines, cheeses and other wonderful foods. These outings were more than art sessions; they were profound cultural immersions, featuring intellectual conversations with fellow artists. This environment refined my French, steering me away from the informal slang typically picked up in casual settings. Reflecting on my integration into French society, I observe a stark contrast with many expats who, despite years in France, have limited language skills and remain dependent on others to communicate in English. In contrast, my fluency in French – supported by my French wife – has allowed me to thrive and connect deeply with the local community, moving well beyond the expat bubble. This linguistic and cultural immersion has been crucial to my enriched life here, offering a more authentic experience and a broader understanding of French society.

Embracing French cuisine was an immediate transformation when I arrived in France. Despite growing up with the excellent, mainly Italian, cooking of my mother in the US, school lunches there had been a far cry from gourmet, featuring mainly canned and reheated frozen food, including staples like pizza, burgers and fries. My sudden switch to French cuisine, renowned worldwide for good reason, was a delightful shock. Although it was initially startling to see meat displayed with heads still intact at the butcher, my appreciation for authentic French dishes grew from the first day. My wife introduced me to local markets where the incredible taste of French produce was unlike anything I’d experienced before. The freshness of figs, the rich variety of local olives, succulent apricots in early summer and crunchy local almonds quickly became some of my favourites. Mediterranean foods have now become staples in our home.

I’ve come to appreciate the rhythm of the seasons, knowing exactly when each food is at its peak. This is a stark contrast to the US, where foods are available year-round, often shipped from distant locations and picked before they’re ripe. In France, the seasonal availability of produce means enjoying each fruit and vegetable at its most flavourful, embracing a cycle of anticipation and delight as each season brings its own offerings A significant aspect of French food culture is the leisurely pace of dining. Meals are always eaten at the table, whereas Americans tend to eat on the couch. In France, lunches can last for two hours or more, enjoyed without the pressure of servers rushing to free up tables – a practice less common in France, where restaurant staff earn a living wage. When eating out, a reserved table is typically yours for the entire evening, reflecting the unhurried nature of French dining. Furthermore, etiquette extends to practices such as the host serving the wine; it’s considered impolite to refill your own glass if it’s empty. Interestingly, despite the richness of French cuisine, I found myself losing weight within the first couple of weeks, even though I was eating more than usual. This change underscored not just a shift in diet but in lifestyle, profoundly impacting my health and wellbeing.

French greetings, which I initially found surprising, are distinctively unique. The common practice of kissing on both cheeks-varying between two to three times depending on the region – struck me as peculiar and overly intimate when I first arrived. However, as I adjusted to life here, this once unfamiliar custom has now become part of my daily routine. Interestingly, I now find it odder to hug someone, particularly someone I am not close with, than to participate in the customary cheek kisses, or bises. These gestures, along with handshakes and the formal use of monsieur and madame, are integral to my daily interactions. Additionally, it is customary for shopkeepers in France to greet customers with a warm “Bonjour” on entering and to wish them a “Bonne journée” when they leave. Another cultural shift involved adapting to the typically reserved French facial expressions. Coming from America, where broad, teeth-baring smiles are not only common but expected, I learned to moderate my expressions. In France, such overt displays of enthusiasm are often perceived as unusual or indicative of something being wrong. Grasping these nuances has been crucial for my cultural integration.

In France, the emphasis on work-life balance is profound, a concept I still grapple with even after living here for over a decade. Coming from an American background, where work and perpetual productivity are deeply ingrained from a young age, adjusting to the French pace has been challenging. It is common for businesses, particularly in smaller French towns, to close between 12 noon and 2pm for a leisurely lunch break. Moreover, most establishments are shuttered on Sundays, dedicating the day to relaxation and family time. This cultural approach is encapsulated by the local adage ‘In France, we work to live’, contrasting sharply with the ‘live to work’ mentality found elsewhere. The most striking illustration of this may be in August, when it appears the entire country pauses, closing many businesses for the month to enjoy extended holidays. This lifestyle teaches that work isn’t the sole priority embracing this can enrich your integration into French life and allow you to fully appreciate the numerous holidays and leisurely pace.

Joining a local painting association was a pivotal step in my immersion into French culture, revealing the vibrant community life in my village. This experience led me to join more clubs – hiking, photography, running and several others – deepening my connection to the community spirit cherished in France. Every year, a grand fair showcases all local associations, providing a unique chance for residents to engage in a variety of activities. My small village, with just 2,000 inhabitants, hosts over 30 diverse associations ranging from sports like badminton and mountain biking (VTT) to cultural pursuits such as dance and genealogy. These clubs not only cater to a wide array of been crucial in forming lasting relationships with neighbours. Additionally, some clubs focus on philanthropy, organising fundraisers for local causes, enriching our community involvement. The affordability of these associations, typically just €20 per semester, and their role in providing a welcoming environment, have been key to meeting lifelong friends.

Adapting to a culture takes time and patience. It’s important to remember that as foreigners, it is our responsibility to respect and adapt to the local customs and traditions, even if they initially seem perplexing. Integrating into a new society means not expecting it to conform to our ways. Additionally, connecting with fellow expats can be invaluable. Living abroad often feels isolating, and having a network of people who understand your experiences can provide essential support. Sharing challenges and solutions can make navigating difficult times a bit easier.

Watch Andrew’s YouTube videos: @Andrew GuckLeggett

Looking for more like this?

French Property News is the go-to title for anyone considering a French property purchase, either now or in the future. Packed full of expert advice from property professionals including estate agents, lawyers and tax advisors, it is the ultimate househunter’s guide to the French property market.