Moving to France with Family: Intergenerational living

All together now! There’s a new lifestyle trend and France offers the ideal affordable opportunity, says Clare Rolt…

Following the isolation felt by so many people during the Covid lockdowns where extended families weren’t allowed to see each other, there followed a huge wave of clients looking to buy properties that offered the chance of multigenerational living. The opportunity for grandparents, parents and children to live together and make up for lost family time from Covid proved extremely tempting for both French and international clients alike.

Since then, rising living costs and interest rates have seen this trend continue. With many families unable to afford the properties they want by themselves, spreading the cost between two parties has proved to be very popular.

Multigenerational living has been a large part of French culture for a long time, with many French families prioritising close family ties and support. Thankfully, a large number of French properties offer this possibility, whether it be via existing independent living accommodation, the potential to create extra space in barns and outbuildings or simply just because, in general, a lot of French houses tend to have a larger living area than their UK counterparts.

Living in France as an extended family can be a great way to offer both emotional and social support. Being together for a morning coffee or evening apéritif, cooking traditional food together or just going out for a walk in the beautiful French countryside- all of this helps people to feel less isolated and cared for. This is especially important as, even now Covid is behind us, government statistics in 2023 show that one in three adults aged 50-80 years old continues to feel isolated from others.

FORGING FAMILY BONDS

For grandparents and grandchildren living together, there are benefits on all sides. Having grandparents on hand to help with the children can be a godsend, helping busy parents and reducing the need for formal childcare. Children benefit from learning values and traditions from their grandparents while parents benefit from having more time and lower childcare costs.

In France, it is very common for grandparents to take care of grandchildren, especially during the long eight-week summer holidays. There is certainly no shortage of activities to do together, be it visiting local festivals or attractions, spending a day at the beach or by the river or simply being together outside swimming or playing.

Spending precious time with grandchildren has also shown to offer several health benefits to grandparents. According to Dr Hussaini of Henry Ford Health, time with grandchildren can reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease and depression, and improve physical fitness and brain health. It’s just important to set boundaries about how much childcare is possible to make sure grandparents don’t overstretch themselves.

Laura and Keith moved to rural France from Bermuda in 2015 and they have a son and daughter, aged 7 and 11. Following Brexit, Keith’s mum Wendy decided to move over from the UK and join them so they converted their two B&B rooms into an independent apartment with a separate entrance and a connecting door to the main house that allowed them to maintain their privacy. This works well in her having her own space, but they always enjoy family mealtimes together too.

Living together has its challenges, particularly culturally as Laura is American and Wendy is British: “We speak the same language, but American and British communication styles can be very different!” At the same time, the kids love having their grandma with them, especially their son, who shares a very close bond with her.

Fulfilling the dream of moving to France, particularly with ageing parents can reduce the worry of leaving them behind in another country, knowing that you’re close by if any problems arise.

It can be a great option for older family members to keep their independence as long as possible, but give peace of mind knowing that help is on hand if needed. Younger family members can help out too, offering companionship or helping out with chores or shopping. It provides a great quality of life for ageing family members, and allows them to share in and enjoy precious moments together.

FINANCIAL BENEFITS

Rising living costs and energy prices have meant that pooling resources has become a savvy decision in helping to manage these uncertain times. Buying groceries together and sharing utility bills, for example, can share the financial burden. Not only this but putting money together to buy a property can give families a wider choice of properties – houses that were once beyond reach or properties in a more desirable location. This could mean finding a property with land or a pool, or in a town that is walking distance to amenities that wouldn’t have been possible before.

Of course, when considering living together as a larger extended family, it is important to set boundaries from the outset to make sure all sides are happy. Understanding what is possible with regards to childcare, who is responsible for certain jobs at the property and what expectations are for ongoing living costs, for example. Communication is the key to a happy and successful cohabitation arrangement, as well as finding the right property. This is important in making sure everyone has the space they need.

Kass bought her property in rural France back in 2008, having fallen in love with a maison de maître with a swimming pool, land and stables in the Charente countryside. Being a horse owner and habitual rider, she couldn’t afford land and stables in the area in the UK that she was from, and with her parents feeling the effects of the ’empty nest’ syndrome, they decided to embark on this adventure together along with her partner and their young daughter.

Sharing a house had many upsides and the opportunity for Kass’ daughter to grow up in close proximity to her grandparents was a real gift. Of course, there were also some difficulties: “The biggest mistake?… sharing a kitchen. That is not an area for a mother and daughter to share. There were some epic arguments, and a second kitchen was soon installed!” says Kass.

In the end, with the declining health of her mother, Kass decided to sell her beautiful home in favour of a town property that had its own separate apartment so that both sides of the family had their independence. As she states: “Having your own space, inside and outside, is incredibly important”. Being in or close to a town with all the amenities available on foot or a short drive away also proved to be life-changing, not just for Kass’ parents but for her and her daughter too.

PROPERTY SEARCH CONSIDERATIONS

As with Kass’ example, all families are different. It’s imperative to sit down together and discuss which factors are the most important. Are privacy and independence top of the list to ensure you’re not all living on top of one another? In this case, perhaps two independent properties on the same plot would work? Or for a family with children, maybe a main house for the parents and a gite for the grandparents would work? Renovating outbuildings to convert into extra living space might even be a good option, but remember that this will take time to get it as you want it. If you prefer to all be in one large property to offer more hands on help, thinking about the living and sleeping arrangements is important. Converting a room to a living room with a kitchen gives a little extra independence while still enjoying a close family relationship. Ensuring there are adequate bathrooms for everyone is vital too.

Along with the property, you need to consider as a family the area you want to live in. Does a rural location work or do you need to be near schools? Do you need to be walking distance to amenities or will you each have a car? Is being part of a community important so that you can join local clubs and associations? And do you need to be near an airport to visit other family members in the UK? Working out these details before you start your property search will make the house hunt easier. Take the time to write a short list and prioritise what you need and what would be nice to have, so that when you start your property search, you can focus on those priorities and find a property that will suit everyone.

GETTING ADVICE

If you plan to split the cost of a French property purchase with your parents or your children, it’s also important to seek legal advice before taking the plunge. Ownership and inheritance implications need to be decided in advance. Will this be individual or joint ownership, or would it be worth forming a legal entity such as an SCI (Société Civile Immobilière) to create shares to buy the property? Taking the time to do the groundwork before purchasing is key.

Buying a property together can have so many benefits for all of the family as long as you have a plan and that you have thought through the small details. As Kass beautifully sums up her experience of multigenerational living: “As with anything in life, there have been pros and cons, but the most poignant of all is that I have actually got to know my parents all over again… but differently.”

Clare Rolt works in the marketing department at Beaux Villages estate agency.

Tel: 0800 270 0101 (Freephone from the UK), 0033 (0) 805 69 23 23 (France).

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